Kindness isn't taught on very often by itself. I don't think I've ever heard it taught as the sole subject of a sermon. Your article made me laugh but also was quite convicting. Kindness as a fruit of the Spirit is obviously important but it has not always been emphasized as it should be as a fruit of the Spirit. The "Be Kind" campaign of recent years almost made me not want to be kind, sorry, as it was presented more as "be tolerant" of everything so it was misleading and frankly, annoying. I am looking forward to your teaching.
Jack, this is good and the definition you laid out is very helpful. The distinction you gave between kindness and niceness or politeness is clear and instructive. Just yesterday morning, on the way to drop off my girls at school I asked them, “what’s one way to be kind to someone today?” Your words will be helpful to me as I teach them and also helpful to my own soul. I never thought of Jesus’ kindness toward the religious leaders in that passage. Thanks for this!
That’s great, thanks so much! It’s interesting because I talk with my boys about kindness too, instead of “niceness”, which is what I grew up hearing I needed to be
I forget where I first heard it, but one of my favorite thought experiments is of two people who are going to each have a piece of pie. How should we go about making sure that their portions are fair?
The answer is that one of them should cut the pie into slices, while the other gets the first choice of those slices. Now the motivations of the one doing the cutting are aligned with the ultimate goal: fairness.
While niceness is conforming to social expectations so that personal interactions are as frictionless as possible, kindness is the consideration of another as if they were oneself. One is, to a certain extent, fake; the other is transformational.
I agree with the idea that kindness must be outward, but even more importantly it must originate from the inward. Kindness is altering our basic motivational framework to consider someone other than ourselves. It is aligning our motives with their benefit. And that altered framework will directly inform our actions.
I think that’s why kindness is important to living a Christian life. Jesus is the ultimate example, in that He put Himself in our place when He went to the cross. Shouldn’t we show a fraction of that by imagining ourselves in others’ shoes and acting for their benefit?
Sounds to me like you're on the right track, Jack. I've been reflecting recently on 2 Timothy 2. There may be some good insights there. "23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." Here kindness seems to evoke such attributes as being non-argumentative, approachable, providing constructive feedback, an ability to woo a person toward God's best for them. Staying clear-headed amid stressful and controversial circumstances so that you can help others.
Agree with this. The thing that "provoking" people tend to forget is that the ultimate goal isn't getting the person to agree with you, but to flourish as a person.
Yippee, hooray and all that! Looking forward to listening to you preach the good words re "kindness" on March 2nd. You'll have time for reflection on your present thoughts.
It (kindness) seeks for the welfare of another person by giving them what they most need, because kindness is always rooted in love. It almost always brings that small sweet smile after the act. Hugs
This reminds me of one of the Unstoppable sessions Pastor Tim & Rebecca teach on. They show a grid of 4 quadrants ranging from "Low Conviction" to "High Conviction" and "Low Comfort" to "High Comfort". They teach that Jesus related to others in the "High Comfort/High Conviction" quadrant and discuss with participants where they feel they relate to others (and how to be more like Jesus).
I have used this in coaching a lot. I have even gone back to people after a conversation and apologized when I realized I was hanging out in high conviction but low comfort.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The points you make here are provocative. Go with them! I appreciate the example of the woman caught in adultery. Truth without shame, kindness without avoidance are good guidelines
J3, as part of your preparation, you might want to look into Servant Evangelism developed by Steve Sjogren. "Small things done with great love will change the world."
Yippee, hooray and all that. We look forward to March 2 to hear your "kind ness" sermon.!
"It seeks for the welfare of another person by giving them what they most need, because kindness is always rooted in love." It also brings forth the small but sweet smile that is almost always there after the act. Hugs
Kindness isn't taught on very often by itself. I don't think I've ever heard it taught as the sole subject of a sermon. Your article made me laugh but also was quite convicting. Kindness as a fruit of the Spirit is obviously important but it has not always been emphasized as it should be as a fruit of the Spirit. The "Be Kind" campaign of recent years almost made me not want to be kind, sorry, as it was presented more as "be tolerant" of everything so it was misleading and frankly, annoying. I am looking forward to your teaching.
Yes, I completely agree. When people talk about being kind it often just sounds like scolding, or just a variation of “be nicer”
Jack, this is good and the definition you laid out is very helpful. The distinction you gave between kindness and niceness or politeness is clear and instructive. Just yesterday morning, on the way to drop off my girls at school I asked them, “what’s one way to be kind to someone today?” Your words will be helpful to me as I teach them and also helpful to my own soul. I never thought of Jesus’ kindness toward the religious leaders in that passage. Thanks for this!
That’s great, thanks so much! It’s interesting because I talk with my boys about kindness too, instead of “niceness”, which is what I grew up hearing I needed to be
I forget where I first heard it, but one of my favorite thought experiments is of two people who are going to each have a piece of pie. How should we go about making sure that their portions are fair?
The answer is that one of them should cut the pie into slices, while the other gets the first choice of those slices. Now the motivations of the one doing the cutting are aligned with the ultimate goal: fairness.
While niceness is conforming to social expectations so that personal interactions are as frictionless as possible, kindness is the consideration of another as if they were oneself. One is, to a certain extent, fake; the other is transformational.
I agree with the idea that kindness must be outward, but even more importantly it must originate from the inward. Kindness is altering our basic motivational framework to consider someone other than ourselves. It is aligning our motives with their benefit. And that altered framework will directly inform our actions.
I think that’s why kindness is important to living a Christian life. Jesus is the ultimate example, in that He put Himself in our place when He went to the cross. Shouldn’t we show a fraction of that by imagining ourselves in others’ shoes and acting for their benefit?
Agree - niceness can actually be quite selfish, if our goal is to preserve the status quo because we are afraid of tension, for example.
Sounds to me like you're on the right track, Jack. I've been reflecting recently on 2 Timothy 2. There may be some good insights there. "23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." Here kindness seems to evoke such attributes as being non-argumentative, approachable, providing constructive feedback, an ability to woo a person toward God's best for them. Staying clear-headed amid stressful and controversial circumstances so that you can help others.
Agree with this. The thing that "provoking" people tend to forget is that the ultimate goal isn't getting the person to agree with you, but to flourish as a person.
Yippee, hooray and all that! Looking forward to listening to you preach the good words re "kindness" on March 2nd. You'll have time for reflection on your present thoughts.
It (kindness) seeks for the welfare of another person by giving them what they most need, because kindness is always rooted in love. It almost always brings that small sweet smile after the act. Hugs
This reminds me of one of the Unstoppable sessions Pastor Tim & Rebecca teach on. They show a grid of 4 quadrants ranging from "Low Conviction" to "High Conviction" and "Low Comfort" to "High Comfort". They teach that Jesus related to others in the "High Comfort/High Conviction" quadrant and discuss with participants where they feel they relate to others (and how to be more like Jesus).
I have used this in coaching a lot. I have even gone back to people after a conversation and apologized when I realized I was hanging out in high conviction but low comfort.
Correction - Tim & Rebecca use the term "challenge" not "conviction".
That does sound more like Tim, lol
Excellent.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
The points you make here are provocative. Go with them! I appreciate the example of the woman caught in adultery. Truth without shame, kindness without avoidance are good guidelines
J3, as part of your preparation, you might want to look into Servant Evangelism developed by Steve Sjogren. "Small things done with great love will change the world."
It’s going to be great! As you know, I’m writing a book about this very thing ◡̈
Jump into my archives under the tag “kindness” and use anything that works. Haha.
Oh I am absolutely doing that - thanks for the reminder!
Yippee, hooray and all that. We look forward to March 2 to hear your "kind ness" sermon.!
"It seeks for the welfare of another person by giving them what they most need, because kindness is always rooted in love." It also brings forth the small but sweet smile that is almost always there after the act. Hugs